Monday, 23 April 2012

Typically (White) English

  1. Hypocrisy - never practising what they preach;
  2. pretending British/English are labels that apply to every British/English person when they only mean them to apply to Whites;
  3. solipsism;
  4. narcissism;
  5. ignorant;
  6. angry when you do not agree with them; eg, "That is your opinion?";
  7. White men assume White women are property; eg, "Our women";
  8. panicking when they realise how universally unpopular they are with other ethnicities; eg, "Why do they hate us so much?";
  9. alcoholism;
  10. standing in doorways;
  11. impatient;
  12. using shopping trolleys as crutches;
  13. dependent on others for self-esteem;
  14. talk more than they do;
  15. not very good in bed;
  16. paranoid/schizophrenic;
  17. unfriendly;
  18. the desperate need for others to think them wonderful, so that they can think it themselves;
  19. puritanical fear of the pleasures and success of others;
  20. social snobbery;
  21. resentment at the loss of the British Empire;
  22. being poor listeners;
  23. being unable to objectively-define either Britishness or Englishness;
  24. always talking about themselves;
  25. being insincere & superficial;
  26. believing values possess a nationality; eg, "British values";
  27. believing in legislating-for-love; eg, Laws against Sedition & Treason;
  28. believing Jobs have Nationalities; eg, "British Jobs for British People";
  29. believing British people are better than anyone else; eg, Institutional Racism & Northern Ireland;
  30. believing British/English means having only White skin;
  31. laziness; eg, Whites are owed a living since it should be: "British Jobs for British People";
  32. having no culture other than pretending England is a great country with no examples of this greatness given;
  33. confusing the Personal with the Political; Wit with Sarcasm; Sex with Love; Irony with sincerity;
  34. being proud of other English people's achievements as a substitute for one's own lack of achievement;
  35. being angry - especially when told the truth about themselves;
  36. believing England to be unique with no evidence ever given;
  37. being unable to adapt to changing global circumstances;
  38. working long hours to avoid facing an empty personal life;
  39. wanting to get skin cancer by needlessly exposing themselves (& their children) to the sun;
  40. eating in front of the television rather than at the table;
  41. loving animals more than people;
  42. endlessly talking about the weather;
  43. poking their noses into other people's business / talking about others for malicious reasons;
  44. schadenfreude;
  45. lack of genuine creativity in music, painting nor the arts generally; except Shakespeare & Chaplin (neither of whom is respected by the English, now);
  46. poor personal hygiene; eg, a dearth of domestic bidets & not washing hands after urinating;
  47. untidy homes;
  48. giving up at the first hurdle, then blaming it on Society;
  49. being loud and inappropriately aggressive to vainly conceal shyness;
  50. poor social skills;
  51. soccer hooliganism;
  52. drinking alcohol to lubricate the wheels of social interaction rather than engaging in affinity or empathy;
  53. whinging about others rather than taking personal responsibility for their own failings;
  54. inventing Political Correctness to conceal their fear of anyone (& anything) different;
  55. discomfort with emotions and sensations - their own and others;
  56. fear of intelligent people;
  57. obsession with Sex as a solace for lovelessness;
  58. lack of realism from living in a White supremacist fantasy world;
  59. fear of failure;
  60. fear of success;
  61. trying to get their friends to like them for fear that they actually do not;
Copyright © 2011 Frank TALKER. Permission granted to reproduce and distribute it in any format; provided that mention of the author’s Weblog ( is included: E-mail notification requested. All other rights reserved. Frank TALKER is also the author of Sweaty Socks: A Treatise on the Inevitability of Toe Jam in Hot Weather (East Cheam Press: Groper Books, 1997) and is University of Bullshit Professor Emeritus of Madeupology.

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